Healing with the EE System - a personal story
On Saturday Sept.16 we completed our 14th or-so hour in Quanta's 24-unit EE System, offering our Sound Healing work for a group of 23 people. We have been offering musical support through 2-hour sessions for groups in Victoria, BC at Quanta Healing & Vitality since May. The previous sessions have been experienced without too much for detox symptoms since the first session in January which was certainly strongly felt with many days of excessive physical detox symptoms. It has become "normal" for us to feel wildly energized, though the hours of travel home are typically difficult at the end - we arrive home very ready for a rest and a detox bath. Typically from that bath onward we feel quite a special clarity and are very alert within our calmness. This time has been strikingly different! Days later I am still finding my (new) center. Shortly before arriving at home my energy shifted from excited and high to uneasy and very tired. I was so over the need to be in a vehicle and ferry but I felt confident that home and bath would level me out. It did not. A familiar pain crept into my core, right into my center/solar plexus. I say familiar because many years ago it would strangely manifest from time to time after holding ceremonial space for a group over a weekend. This experience plagued me for years but I could never predict when it would come on, the parameters could be seemingly the same but it would not manifest every time. There is an interesting backstory to this experience. Years prior to this pain ever appearing, an African Shaman named Mandaza told me in a personal reading that there would be a time when this pain would come. He doubled over and grabbed his stomach as he described that it would be a spiritual pain, not a physical pain - and so no doctor would know what it was. The rest of the reading was profoundly affirming that he is the real deal with his connection to spirit. Because of my experience with Mandaza I never went to see a doctor about the pain though there were times in agony that I questioned deeply the possibility that one was needed. The pain would be gone by the time morning came.The level of pain I speak of is difficult to equate to other experiences. Dull, congested, dense, dark, no-movement, right at the center of my being. A sense of indigestion would accompany this feeling, but so would back pain. I had to agree with Mandaza on this one, it was an energetic issue - though it was certainly felt in the physical area. It brought me to my knees many times, barely able to conjure clear thoughts. Confidence never truly came that I ever had it entirely figured out, but it faded away with the years and I created a hindsight story that it was associated with an energy of holding myself back, even subtly in the healing work that I offer to people. And I utilized the experience to propel myself with more confidence than ever into my innate ability to channel healing frequencies. I consciously illuminated the dark corners I could find where I would shy even very subtly away from "jumping in" to express a sound/song/prayer. Full freedom of expression. So when I found myself feeling the same pain in the center of my being after a powerful EE System session, I relate it to a detox symptom, or a letting go of something ultra deep within than has been tucked away for some time. Because of everything I have come to know and trust so deeply about the process of healing in general and then in particular with the EE System effects, and the fact that I had not just come out of 3 days of ceremony like in the past.... I was kind of confused but also trusting that a feeling so strong does imply that the body is working to release something deep. I hoped getting in the detox bath would dissolve the sensations, and it did while I was in the tub but then it returned and I had one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life - matched only by the nights in the past where I suffered the same pain. When I'm in the grips of this manifestation I have found it difficult to even think straight. I try to conjure all the strength I have when I hold space for others, but it feels so weak. I try to simply relax and be in prayer but I can find no peace, just pure uneasiness. I writhed around until sleep finally came. I woke up many times in the night to go to the bathroom, and still had pain. By the time the sun came up though it had subsided somewhat and I took it very easy that day, feeling like the sensations were more like echoes compared to the night before. But as the day progressed the discomfort raged on, and I could feel myself returning to despair. We ran another bath with sea salt. With curiosity, I spoke aloud some of the synchronicities and clues that were surfacing, wondering if I was maybe finally touching that core piece. Very shortly after I lay right down as I felt an energetic sensation in my body at the core in the place that was experiencing such pain. My beloved was there in the perfect moment to hit play on a really beautiful album neither of us had heard yet and it played a special role in what transpired. I felt that the core channel expanded from a tiny thread to much larger in diameter but still within the size of my body. It was ecstatic, I wept, I laughed, I finally had clear coherent thoughts and feelings pass through that core place. I felt connected to myself again, what sweet relief. The complete lack of knowing what it was related to vanished as many deep knowings surfaced into the light of my conscious mind/body. Here are the pearls from my integration of this experience... There is collective trauma from the witch hunts and all similar energetics that continue to this day. I am acutely aware that people can be so quick to misjudge and run with wild untruths. The cloud of energy that has surfaced to be seen, felt, and healed is connected to this. I offer the same energy bridge as the medicine music I was hearing play when I sing for people. I already know this deeply, this path I am on is not new, but it is ever-refining and I need to bring this ultra conscious awareness of my gift into that space (within) that has a wound from those particular times. And know that I am safe. Any subtle or otherwise withholding of my gift is no longer an option I can choose to protect myself. Because I am already protected. I am fearless. There is actually no threat. My core is not vulnerable to this distortion. My moon time arriving early during this release reminds me that my womb is also in this energy center. I have experienced two full-term pregnancies and two c-sections. The energetic of those surgeries is clearing, and also the stress the body undergoes during pregnancy. Those traumas and miracles are integrating now. With my incredibly strong response to Saturday's session, and all the wobbliness that has come along with it, part of my process has been around wondering if others had anything remotely similar happen for them in the aftermath of the EE session. Some participants are close enough to me to check in naturally and a few of us have indeed gone quite deep. It is really important to me that people looking for healing experiences leave a session knowing they are supported with after-care when needed. This has inspired me to work this more consciously into our EE sessions with people because it is so different from our other work with people where the integration time is built in and a huge part of any group process. It is all informing me of the ways I will be stewarding this technology in our own temple, and what kinds of support I can build right into the offering so that everyone knows they are truly held in the highest regard and with the utmost integrity. Now, 5 days later I am starting to get my energy back for day to day functioning. It is clear that the energy I received from the EE System was utilized to tend to a very deep wound - the kind that we can forget is still affecting us, sinking deeply into our subconscious. I am humbled by the potency and very much looking forward to how this shift will be felt moving forward. Healing is a mysterious path, we do not simply feel better immediately. Transformation takes energy and attention. It is fascinating, and I feel so blessed to be able to explore this mind/body/spirit connection in all of the work that I do.
Visit our Sound Healing page to see upcoming opportunities to join us at Quanta for EE System sessions accompanied by our musical gifts.